Saying Goodbye To the Past

Posted on Fri May 5th, 2023 @ 11:59pm by Lieutenant JG Mira Jayna
Edited on on Tue May 9th, 2023 @ 11:48pm

0 words; about a 1 minute read

Mission: Episode 14 - The Poseidon Adventure
Location: Holodeck 1 - Deck 5 - USS Pioneer
Timeline: MD003 1300 hrs

Jayna sat in the old tree, her back against the trunk and let her thoughts wander where they wished. She'd created this program years ago to remind her of the home and family she had on Bajor. She never wanted to forget her roots, but she'd spent less and less time here over the past couple of years. Like the planet itself, she'd slowly moved on.

Kavicus had pulled all her old, painful memories to the surface so he could take pleasure in her pain. But now that she had a few days to deal with the sudden shock—with help from Neil—having everything come back as if it was yesterday also gave the person she was today a chance to put the memories into perspective, to see what she'd learned and how she'd grown.

And now, she wanted to take one trip through the home she once knew and, in a way, say goodbye. Oh, she'd come back here from time to time, but it was no longer a place of refuge. She wasn't even sure when she'd started using the program as that, as a way to escape the loneliness of her present. Bajor was the only place she'd ever had family. When her parents died, she had the resistance cell—and she had Jayde—but it wasn't the same.

Even in the Maquis and then her first year in Starfleet, she had Jayde, but it was never a family. She never felt like she belonged. Not until now. Not until the Pioneer. And not until Neil. She developed a crush on the Marine when she first arrived, but that quickly faded. Now, though, She'd spent time with him, gotten to know him…and fallen in love. She wasn't ready to tell him just yet because she wasn't sure if he felt the same, or if he wanted to hear it. But she was happier than she'd been in a very long time and she was going to make the most of what she had.

She dropped to the mycelium and silently walked through the woods, touching a tree or a bush as she walked through a clearing, a hollow. Places she and Jayde would play…or hide…and remember.

She saw each memory from the perspective of the child she had been and the woman she was now. In a way, she had to thank the creature that called itself Kavicus for giving her this fresh look at where she'd come from and what helped form who she was. Even if it meant reliving the pain. What was that quote…shared pain is lessoned, shared joy increased? She appreciated that in a new way now.

She walked through the small home they lived in before the Cardassians destroyed it, then to the grave out back where the remaining members of the resistance cell buried her parents. She wasn't sure if the bodies had been moved or cremated later. No one contacted her or her sister once they joined the Maquis. Jayna never asked, preferring the memories.

She picked up a small flowering bush she'd replicated and planted it behind the graves as a token of her love and appreciation, even if it was only virtual. She liked to think of it giving her parents shade and birdsong.

Part of her wished they were alive to see what became of their daughters, but she knew that if they hadn't died, she and Jayde might still be on Bajor, and their lives now were so much more in Starfleet. There was remembered sorrow, but she'd mostly healed from the past heartache. She hoped her parents would be proud of her. She knew they'd be proud of Jayde. Her twin was doing well in security.

Jayna stood for a while after the holobush was planted, then turned and walked away. Her past had shaped who she was and she now had a renewed appreciation for it, but she was ready to embrace her life and what she hoped it might hold.

She called for the arch and paused to look back one more time and sent a silent prayer to the cosmos. She didn't have a lot of faith in the prophets. "Computer, save program and back it up to my personal computer." Then she walked off the holodeck and into her future.

A Joint Post By

Lieutenant Junior Grade Mira Jayna
Assistant Chief Intelligence Officer, USS Pioneer
Intelligence Liaison, The Cure

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