Fixing the Machine
Posted on Sun Feb 11th, 2018 @ 12:33pm by Lieutenant Amelia Zano Psy.D.
Edited on on Thu May 31st, 2018 @ 9:46pm
1,631 words; about a 8 minute read
Mission:
Episode 2 - The Enemy Within
Location: Chief Counselor's Office
Timeline: MD001 1030 hrs
Tags: SD 71370.1030
Thalk had a long and expert history in dealing with grief. His loss was as much a part of himself as the scars and callouses on his hands, and served a similar purpose while requiring similar care. It was proper to inform one's doctor about preexisting conditions, be they physical or mental.
He tapped his comm badge and addressed the ship's counselor. "Lt. Zano, are you available? This is Lt. Thalk, requesting an appointment at your convenience."
"Lt. Thalk, I am free for the next couple of hours if any time suits?" she asked. She'd not been on the ship long enough to cement any regular patients that needed her. "I'm more than happy to speak to you if you need me." she added genuinely.
"I'm on my way now.", he responded. In a perfect world, this visit would take only moments. Most of the story was in his personnel file; it wasn't hard to describe his emotional state to the officer given charge of such. So far no meeting with a Fleet counselor had gone as smoothly as that. He was tired of being fixed.
Thalk nervously smoothed out the wrinkles of his apron, as he stepped through the sliding door. "Lieutenant. Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice. I appreciate it." He was sure to use his "cadet voice" being careful not to let the harsh Klingon consonants frighten or intimidate.
"yI'el (welcome) Lieutenant. It is honestly no problem at all. Please make yourself comfortable." She gestured to a number of chairs ranging from one a single seat, a double couch that one may lay on if they choose, a hardened platform for those not interested in comfort. Amelia had taken care to offer many services to cater for a multi-species crew.
He was an intimidating man standing a foot taller than she and of course being Klingon was also a factor. Amelia hadn't had a chance to look into his file given his need for a quick meeting but from what she could tell he was an older Klingon, that had been through a trauma, she could tell from the way he carried himself and how he had changed how he spoke. From his comm. call earlier to how he spoke face to face was different, looking into that one might suggest he's trying to hide his true self, make himself more accepting to others. At this time she didn't mention it.
"Would you care for something to drink, a Raktajino?" she asked as he moved to sit in his preferred spot.
Thalk sat on the sturdier side of the couch, out of a force of habit, if nothing else. Klingon disdain for creature comforts wasn't something he'd been able to shake. He addressed the slight and slender woman before him.
"No, thank you. I thought it appropriate to inform you of my background. Being that you're charged with the mental well being of the crew, protocol dictates that I pass relevant information on to you." Calm, even tones came easy with measured diction.
She did note his choice of seat, it can a lot about someone where they feel most comfortable and she knew from past conferences that Klingons did like to sit on more firm fixtures, especially the ones from Kronos. Thalk would be her first...
He was being rather formal for her liking, Amelia had always adopted a relaxed style but often adapted to how others felt more comfortable. "Alright Lieutenant," she started with a slight Scottish twang creeping in before sitting down near him, "what do you want to tell me?" she asked leaning forward slightly.
"Toril, my mate, died in an unauthorized attack on a pirate vessel fifteen years ago. I was responsible for arming the vessel she served on, and so her death was at least partially my fault." He said it plainly, clearly, as if he were commenting on an expected reading on a gauge.
"Recently, I spoke to Master Chief B'tak Williams; she seemed troubled by my less-than-properly-Klingon mannerisms. I left the Fleet on less than friendly terms, and it could cause issues if we ever find ourselves working with an Imperial crew."
He kept his tone even, his diction steady, and his eyes focused. He was reporting relevant information to the proper officer; he had no desire to delve into this further.
Inwardly she was shocked by how little emotion he gave to the telling of essentially the most horrific incident in his life but she had to remember that different cultures deal with things in different ways, this however did not feel very Klingony. She looked into his eyes and saw the pain, the anger. She could see how is body subconsciously shifted, tightened when he mentioned the incident, his tone also devoid of feeling. Had he dealt with his grief, his feelings of guilt?
She could tell that he was a very regimented person, keeping up an appearance of strength. "I see Lieutenant, that is a horrible thing to have gone through," she started with genuine care in her voice, "I do get the feeling that you don't quite want to talk about this and that's fine, I'm here for as long as you need me. I will ask you this though... Do you truly know the real reason for your mates death? Can you be certain that you contributed to it as you believe you have? There are many things that can happen on a starship Lieutenant as you know but you seem to me like you are a 'I need facts and figures' kind of man..." she trailed off as she saw he was going to say something.
"She was the tactical officer, given charge of the munitions and targeting. I installed the weapons she used. The fault rests on the shoulders of her commanders, but had I done more- done better- everything might have been different."
Amelia nodded, "Not knowing the whole story I have to ask what you think you could have done better, done more of? I hear you say you fitted the weapons but on a starship there are hundreds of systems that are used, people can make mistakes and in space you know that outside influences can make all the difference in a battle..." she paused to gauge the mans reaction. "You also say the commanders are at fault, but do you really truly believe that to be true?
She was trying to get him to see other scenarios, other possibilities whilst looking at himself to make him realise that he was not at fault, and did he have all the facts of the incident, truly. If she had a little more notice she would have been able to look into his history a little, get a feeling for him but sometimes in life things don't always go as you plan.
"They fell, in battle. They engaged without permission, and the enemy's defenses were not overcome by the weapons I installed. Where is there room for uncertainty?" He asked, not out of sarcasm, but out of genuine interest.
"Let me answer you with a question of my own. Did you train the command crew?" she paused for a minute to let him think before she spoke again, "They engaged without permission, that wasn't something you could control nor have any part it. Had the Captain not engaged with whomever they fought then the weapons systems would not have been needed. Did they pick a fight they could never have won? From my knowledge of Klingons, and take no offence please Lt., you never back down from a fight." she added, again not to 'stir the pot' but to make him think outside the box that the weapons were not the only factor in play. "Also how do you know that there wasn't a malfunction in the power systems, a spacial anomaly? As an engineer you know there are hundreds of other systems in play during an engagement." She hoped he saw some wiggle room for his thoughts, opening the mind of a Klingon was not an easy task and Thalk was her first...
"I will grant you that much. There were many variables. My retirement from the IKF will, however, continues to be a point of contention with Klingon crew members, and with future contact with the Empire. My leaving was rather public." That was an understatement.
"I see... I would imagine leaving publicly is more honourable than disappearing without a word. The contention says more for your Klingon counterparts than yourself. I can understand why you left the IKF, does how you left bother you? We don't have to talk about that just now if you don't want too, we could set up a time and place that suits you? Give you time to think about what we've talked about already?" she asked.
"I would...like that." He surprised himself. He wasn't lying. She didn't judge or berate. She might even laugh when he told her the flying blood pie story, next time. "Please, schedule me when you see fit."
"I'll look in my diary and leave you a message later today Lieutenant. Don't leave feeling disheartened, you're a strong individual and I look forward to the stories you have to tell. Together we will work through them as long or as short as you want the timescale to be." she said smiling at him.
With that there was a nod of acknowledgement between them. There was more yet to come.
A Joint Post By
Lieutenant Thalk
Chief Engineering Officer, USS Pioneer
Lieutenant Junior Grade Amelia Zano PsyD
Chief Counselor, USS Pioneer
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