Are You Myles Away?
Posted on Wed Jan 9th, 2019 @ 7:17pm by Lieutenant Commander Larim Myles & Lieutenant Amelia Zano Psy.D.
Edited on on Thu Jan 10th, 2019 @ 3:10am
1,670 words; about a 8 minute read
Mission:
Episode 5 - It Would Be Their Pleasure
Location: Counsellor's Office
Timeline: MD005 1100 hrs
Larim walked by the couselors office. Ordinarily he wouldn't stop by, but this wasn't ordinary. I mean it wasn't everyday you saw your best friend assimilated. Not to mention a version of your wife. Just to technically kill her. It was a lot. He sighed and rang the chime.
Setting down a PADD she had been reading she turned to face the door. "Enter." she said as the Security Chief entered the room, his face troubled by something uneasy.
"Lieutenant Myles, please come in." she added warmly. "Everything alright, no security concerns here I hope?"
"No, nothing like that." He sighed. "Was just wondering if you had a minute or two?" He said.
"Of course." she replied gesturing to the seating area. "Please take a seat where you feel most comfortable." In the room there were seats to sit across from each other, a couch, even one you could lie down on and let's not mention the bean bag that was in the corner. If he wanted he could also sit on the floor, it truly was dealers choice.
"Would you like anything to drink? I can offer you some soothing El Aurian tea, it's guaranteed to relax you even a little." Amelia offered. She could see the man's rather slumped appearance, the tone of his voice and the sigh upon his asking for her time.
Larim kind of gravitated to the couch. "I've never actually had El Aurian tea. That sounds great." He said as he sat. "Thank you"
"It's just a mixture of herbs really, with a little spice in it for warmth. My dad taught me how to make it so it's like having a piece of home here with me." she said with a smile. "I've toyed with putting a sedative in it but... that would be unethical." She said joking and handing over the cup.
"So Lieutenant, what can I do for you?" she asked as openly as possible. She hated being presumptuous that it was going to be a counselling problem but usually it tended to be.
He chuckled a little as he sipped. "Delicious" he smiled. "As for my reason..I guess it's due to my actions in the alternate. They were necessary, but.." he trailed off.
"You are not alone in having trouble with events there." Amelia replied honestly as a little shiver went down her spine. "A few of the crew have retained some memories or feelings from their time there so please don't feel alone." she stopped to take a sip of her own cup.
"Take your time, tell me what ever you feel you can and we can stop at any time if you become uncomfortable." Amelia offered as she sat down near him.
"Well. I woke up on the Pioneer, similar yet different. Older uniforms, different personnel. Stuff like that." He began. "And my wife was there. Which was good at first. That was until before WO Masters and I returned." He pulled in a deep breath. He sighed.
"We came across a Tactical cube. Had us by the commbadges. The alt captain, a friend of mine in this uni, bought time for us with his assimilation. Which was hard to bear. However they adapted to airborne assimilation. So we had a running retreat to a shuttle. Where we.. " he sobbed
"Rigged the ship to blow, so we could escape. Which was my plan. It hit me on board though. I mean I know it was an alternate, but I can't help but feel I killed my wife. And I don't know what to think"
Amelia held up her hand to stop Larim. He was doing nothing but getting himself into a state of despair and that was much harder to come back from.
"I can see this has been quite hard on you Larim, is ok to call you that?" She asked.
"Yes. Of course." Larim replied.
"This situation you've described sounds quite difficult." she started shifting in her seat. "You've given me a lot of information there and I want you to know that I am proud of you for getting that off your chest. It's not hard to talk about these types of things and you should know it takes a strong individual to do so." Putting on her nicest counsellor face to show her empathy towards him.
"So your wife was on board this Alt Pioneer?" She asked rhetorically, she knew he had lost her in this universe. "What was she like? Was she similar to the wife you knew here?" she asked in an attempt to guide him away from the despair part of his retelling of his experience. It was her hope that seeing her had been a positive experience.
"She did seem pretty normal, I must say" Larim replied, smiling a little.
Amelia nodded, "I know that the thought of her dying once more weighs on you heavily but you have to think of it differently." she said. "Seeing your wife once more and getting new memories with her is a nice experience that not many get to have, even though the outcome of your own experience didn't end the pleasantly. By all account she wasn't the woman you married but a version of her in an alternate reality." She added trying to sort through her own thoughts as this type of experience was new to her, counselling techniques only covered so much and a trip to a different reality or time wasn't on the syllabus. "You have experienced the loss of your loved one here, mourned her and moved on as best you can."
Larim nodded, and took a deep breath and released. "Excellent point"
"That's not to say you cant mourn at all Larim. Please do not think I am telling you how to feel or what to do. I'm just giving you alternate lines of thinking to best help you move past your current feelings of guilt." she said opening her body up. "Sometimes people can become fixated on things they cannot control. This 'time travel' incident is a great example of powers at be forcing us to deal with concepts outwith conventional understanding. You have overcome a lot in your life, in the small time that you have lived, and I would hate to see you regress back into a state where you are unhappy."
Larim nodded. "That makes a lot of sense Amelia. Oh I'm sorry. Can I call you that?"
"Of course Larim, what ever makes you feel more comfortable here. I don't like titles much anyway." she said with a smile. "How do you feel at the moment?" She asked hoping his mood had lifted even a little, he always seemed quite guarded outside of her walls. As if he hid behind a wall of professionalism and duty. Even though he was half Betazoid they usually were a little free with their emotions that she had noticed from him.
That little question sort of let Larim free. "I have been playing my emotions close to my chest, haven't I?" He said. "I just felt hurt. And I didn't like that." He began, a tear welling up. "In my view, I lost a loved one. It brought me back to the Dominion war. Where I was just a powerless kid. Powerless evacuating Betazed. Powerless worrying about my dad being in the thick of it." He was crying.
"I saw what my mom went through." He said sobbing. 'Then I found myself doing the same."
"There is nothing wrong with feeling sad or hurt, in a way that is our minds grieving and forcing our bodies to react. I can understand your grief, of seeing a loved one go through it as I've seen it in my own father when we lost my mother." Amelia began handing him a tissue box. "It is true that we cannot control the fate of others to a degree but you are anything but powerless now Larim. You have a position of great power on this ship and we all look up to you. Don't be afraid to let yourself feel, to be sad every so often is natural and I would encourage you not shy away from it. I am here for you to talk too, even outside of these walls as friends if that is more comfortable for you but I don't want to push you any more today with these subjects. The fact you've opened up here and now is fantastic and any further I think would be detrimental to you."
"You're the counselor." Larim said. He grabbed a tissue. "And thanks for encouraging me to let it out, Amelia" he said, offering a smile.
"I'm just looking out for your mental health as best I can." she replied returning the smile. "Too much opening up at one time can bring a lot of other memories to the surface, things get mixed and usually people don't leave in a slightly better state of mind. You appear to have had a slight weight lifted by letting some emotion, some grief out and I am happy with the progress you've made. You should be proud Larim." Amelia offered a warm hand on his shoulder.
He blushed. "Thanks. Thanks a lot. I mean it" Larim said. "Like I said, I wouldn't have stopped by, but something told me to come today. And I'm glad I did. Very glad."
"As am I Larim." She replied with a smile, it felt good to get this reaction from people. Made it all feel worthwhile. "You still have a way to go but this is a good first step. Will you be 'stopping by' again?" she asked.
"Sure thing." He smiled.
"Good." Amelia responded. "I look forward too it."
A Joint Post By
Lieutenant Amelia Zano PsyD
Chief Counselor, USS Pioneer
Lieutenant Larim Myles
Chief Security/Tactical Officer, USS Pioneer
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